Three Months

For the last three years, God has been preparing me for pastoral ministry.  Over the course of that time, God provided a way for me to attend seminary, build vital relationships with peers in ministry, gain invaluable ministry experience, and learn to trust and depend on him.  I wrote papers, I took tests, and I read books.  I had conversations, I practiced pastoral care, I visited the sick, and I shared my faith.  Before that time, I spent time doing ministry college ministry and leading worship in Churches.  After seminary, I applied to a residency program in order to continue to learn from pastors who have been in the field for years.  So here I am, three months in.  So, here are a few things I've learned:

1. Relationships are hard.

I'm what I like to call an outgoing introvert.  I'm a person who strongly leans toward introversion but still likes people.  The liking people thing came after the introversion thing.  For a long time, I labeled myself as a loner, a person who did not need friends.  Then, I began to take on friends for periods of a year or two.  Finally, I got married to my best friend, which has caused me to stretch and grow greatly in this area.  I've built lots of great relationships, but whenever I move on in life I tend to lose them.  I still feel like relationships are difficult. 

This can be hard in the Church sometimes.  I've learned over the past few years that the most important part of ministry is to be in the midst of the people and what's going on in the world.  I've labeled the idea "being carnal."  Jesus, the incarnate son of God, took on flesh to be in the midst of our lives.  In response to that we, as Christians, are called to be fully present in the world as Christ was fully present.  We are called to be carnal.  We're called to be carnal not in the sense that we drink, smoke, swear, and chew (outside of moderation), but in the sense that we are truly human.  We're called to be carnal in the sense that we're living out the new life and new birth that we have been granted in and through our Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

It can be hard to do this.  Laurie and I just had our first baby.  We move away from PA for the first time ever.  For the first time in our live since High School we're living in a community where there are not simple built in relationships with like minded people.  There are, of course, people in the Church who have been amazing friends to us... but the call of Christ, I believe, is to dwell in the midst of all of God's people.  That is, in the town.  In the coffee shops and in the restaurants.  At the football games and in the parents groups.  With all of the changes in our lives, this has been difficult for us to do.  It's been hard to find our niche with so many new life experiences.  We're not from this state. We've never had a baby before.

Yet, God's call still rings true in my heart that we must go out.  I pray that God would continue to lead us as we seek to further his kingdoms in all corners of our new area. 

2.  I don't have it all figured out.

I don't.  I might have thought at one point that having it figured out was possible, but I'm not so sure that's the case now.  The more I talk with people, the more people I meet and attempt to minister to, the more I realize that theres no key to success.  And really, what is success?  For me, is it getting more people in my Church?  Is it making sure we have enough money for the budget?  Is it having a building or a congregation that meets the standard we set for ourselves as "success."

I used to think that if I had it all figured out or if I got to the right place in life I would be truly happy.  Not just intellectually, but in my life.  If I got the right degree, found the right calling, and did the right things God would make me happy.  Yet it seems like everwhere I go, It's just hard to find that sweet spot.  There's always difficulties, there's always problems.  One of my wise congregation members told me something last week, she said "life is challenging."  Isn't it?  I ask myself sometimes, what if I just accepted that?  What if I just lived into the fact that life is fairly challenging?  What if I didn't look for a way?  What if I ran straight into the challenge, taking it for what it is?  It's not the way I'm made, or perhaps it's not the way I've acted in the past. 

Maybe I'll start to understand what's going on here a little bit more if I continue to seek to be present.  Maybe through prayer, preaching, and presence God will just show up.  Which brings me to my next point:

3. God is faithful.

I don't have it all figured out.  The changes are hard.  But God is faithful.

God is faithful despite my faithfulness to him.  Yes, he calls me to be active in his ministry, to participate in the story that he is writing in the world.  He calls me to speak the grace of the Gospel to his people and his creation.  Yet, I am not ever faithful and true.  I make mistakes, and sometimes I outright fail.  Yet God reconciles all of this to himself and sets me back on his path. 

I praise the Lord that our he is living and active.  I praise the Lord that he cuts deep into my soul, and reminds me of what is right and true.  I praise the Lord that he builds me up as his child.  The success that I accomplish is ultimately the success of God the Father, working in God the Son, through God's Holy Spirit.

4. I need people to pray for me and encourage me.

Please do so.

Lord Jesus, may this Church, my life, and the life of my family be guided by your ever present spirit.  May I live in the knowledge of your Gospel, confessing my sins and giving thanks for your work and creation.  And may you run ever before me in the power of your love.  In Christ's name, Amen.