Wee Kirk

After Church today, Laurie, Charlotte and I got together and headed out for the PC(USA) “Wee Kirk” conference, put on by Presbyterians for Renewal.  Wee Kirk means Small Church, and the conference brings together pastors from Churches of 100 members or less.  The conference is being held in Montreat NC, and it’s just such a beautiful, wonderful place. 

Right now, I don’t have too many expectations for the week, other than the fact that I hope to become more aware of God’s presence and more in tune with his spirit so that I can better minister to the wonderful people of our Church and the people of the town.  I’m so new at this whole thing, that I just hope God will teach me some ways that I can better minister to and serve.

Today was kind of a hectic day.  It was a Sunday, and Sundays are always hectic for me.  I’m not the most organized person in the world, and sometimes I feel like it’s hard for me to even keep my head on straight on Sunday Mornings.  But there is always something special about Sundays for me.  Today, I looked at the alarm, and praised God for the opportunity to worship him.  I spent some time getting ready, and rejoiced in one of the benefits of a small Church: being able to pray for each of your members. 

At Church, people were really great in the Sunday School lesson and I think the sermon came together well.  After Church, they gave us a pastor’s appreciation gift.  I think one of the things that we really love about this congregation is just how much love and appreciation they show Laurie, Charlotte, and myself. 

At our first Wee Kirk meeting, one of the things that I realized upon entering the room tonight is just how frustrated people are with the denomination.  One person said something like, “wouldn’t it be great to see our denomination really come alive” and the room broke out in laughter.  I think that’s kind of the point we’ve come to… it’s hard for us to be part of the Church sometimes.  There is so much infighting, so much arguing, and so much disagreement and distrust that it’s almost palpable.  We just don’t know where the denomination is going to be in the next five years.  People are scared.  And that fear has killed some of our ability to be able to see the Church as a place where we can experience new life and hope.

I think that the reality is that this is happening all over the Church.  It’s not just the PC(USA), it’s happening in lots of denominations.  We’re afraid of the culture, we’re afraid of what’s happening around us, and we just don’t know how to respond.  We look at the news, and we hear about wars and poverty and hardship.  We see the increase in secularism and sometimes doubt hits us and almost wonder ourselves what it is that we’re doing. 

I feel lead to pray for God’s Church.  I don’t pray that we’ll all agree on everything, because that’s never been the case.  But what I do pray is that we would be so lead by God that we would live out our lives in love and compassion toward one another.  I know that it’s a high ideal, and I’m very new at this whole pastor thing… but I think that we could make huge strides in the ministry if we simply viewed one another the way that Jesus views one another. 

I fail at this every day.  I look at other people’s failures and judge them, yet I show myself grace and mercy.  Yet, just as Paul said, I am chief of all sinners.  I am broken, and I am wounded.  There’s a mewithoutYou verse where Aaron Weiss says “I need more grace than I thought.”  I realize daily that my biggest failing is not a lack of grace but a lack of humility.

I pray that God would humble me this week.  I pray that my God would shine brightly in the midst of all of my hurt and brokenness.  In my darkness, may his light shine.